Profound Thoughts of a Long Distance Runner

I went out for a long run this morning and somewhere along the way it dawned on me that both of my loyal readers would dearly love to know the amazing thoughts that run through my head while plodding down the road.  Running gives a person lots of time to think since it is pretty challenging to watch TV or read a book while dodging cars in the early morning fog.  There is not really much else to do besides think and devise solutions to the problems that plague our world today.  So here, in no particular order, are the things I can remember thinking about during this mornings 2 hour run.

“Are we there yet?”  This is actually a conversation that goes on between much of my body and my brain after the first few minutes of most runs.  My feet and legs in particular would much prefer to cease this nonsense and head on back to the house and back to bed.  They are as bad as the kids in the back of the car on a long car trip.

“How much longer are we going to be doing this?”  This is a variation on the previous question, and one that starts to replace it the longer the run goes on.  The legs eventually start to grow really tied of the whole idea of running and start giving the brain ultimatums.  Either you wrap this up soon or we are going to take a break, and maybe forget to tell you until you are face down on the road.

“I wonder if that car waiting to pull out in front of me sees me?”  When running facing oncoming traffic and a car is waiting to make a right turn into the traffic, too many times the driver never looks to their right to see if a runner is getting ready to become a hood ornament.  One of these days I am going to learn how to do a 3 foot vertical jump so I can land running on the hood of a car.  Bet that would get them to start looking for oncoming ninja runners.

“I bet that driver was trying to see how close they could get without actually hitting me.”  I, for one, am not interested in playing chicken with a car or truck, especially when I am not also encased in a ton of steel.  I am pretty soft and squishy and just know it would hurt a lot to lose at that game.

“I wonder if I can make it through that light before it turns red?”  Today’s route included Waaga Way between Bremerton and Central Valley Road, a stretch that includes a number of traffic signals.  While a part of me likes to hit red lights (who doesn’t like taking breaks?) another part of me is wanting to get this run over with and waiting at a light just prolongs the experience.

“I wonder if I can catch that runner up ahead?”  I am not particularly fast so it is always a big ego boost when I encounter someone who is even slower than me.  And even better is when I can pass a bicycle (it has actually happened once on a big hill).

“You should not have come out in shorts this morning!”  This was my legs complaining after about 90 minutes this morning when they got cold and stiff.  What to wear on a long run is frequently a problem since one never knows that the weather will be like in an hour or two around here in the fall.

“Ow!  Watch where we’re running!”  This is generally a foot complaint.  I have them encased in Five Finger ‘shoes’ and the soles are pretty thin.  Stepping on a rock, especially under the arch, hurts.  The feet are frequently reminding the eyes to keep a better lookout.

“Is this all the faster you can go?”  My ego talking to my legs and egging them on.  This works for a while but eventually the legs start to ignore the ego, and the brain, and just do their own thing.  At that point, if I am not well on the way back toward home, I could end up taking a closeup look at the pavement.

Are we there yet?  Ouch, watch where we’re going!  Get your car off the shoulder!  Are we there yet?  How fast are we going?  Are we almost there?  It’s cold!  I’m hungry!  I gotta go potty!  Are we there yet? …

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