Reconciliation and forgiveness are similar in some respects. So much so that sometimes we confuse the two of them. But they are not the same thing. So then, what is reconciliation? And what is forgiveness? How do they apply to me as a person? And as a believer?
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Forgiveness and Reconciliation Defined
We are instructed a number of times in the Bible to forgive others. It was an explicit part of Jesus’ model prayer in Matthew 6:7-15. Forgive is the Greek word aphiēmi, meaning “to send away, dismiss, suffer to depart; to emit, send forth.” In relation to an offense against us, it means that we dismiss it, or send it away. We do not hold onto that offense, harboring it in our hearts. Instead, we treat it as if it had not occurred.
The word ‘reconciliation’ is less commonly used. And generally, at least in the Scripture, it deals with the relationship between God and humanity. Reconciliation is the Greek word katallagē, meaning “an exchange, reconciliation, restoration to favor.”
Reconciliation assumes a broken relationship. Something has happened that has caused two parties to become estranged. The two might have been friends. It might be a business relationship. Or it might be as intimate as marriage. But there is now something between them.
The Relationship Between Reconciliation and Forgiveness
Reconciliation involves forgiveness. But it goes beyond forgiveness. When I forgive someone, there is no guarantee that we will have a restored relationship. It may well be that even after I have forgiven someone, we remain estranged. Reconciliation, however, restores the relationship.
Forgiveness may be one-sided. But reconciliation requires both parties to be willing to participate in restoring the relationship. It is always possible, and expected, for me to forgive. But reconciliation will not be possible if the other party is not willing to participate.
Forgiveness and Reconciliation in Human Relationships
Forgiveness is hard. But the follow-up to the model prayer is clear. If we are unwilling to forgive others, we have no reason to expect that God will forgive us.
Forgiveness Only Requires One
One problem that many have with forgiveness is that they envision it as a two-way street. They are willing to forgive only when the one who has wronged them repents and seeks forgiveness. But the Scripture puts no such limit on forgiveness. Quite the contrary. The examples of Jesus (Luke 23:34) and Stephen (Acts 7:60) both demonstrate forgiveness, even when the wrong is occurring. In the midst of their executions, both prayed for the forgiveness of those killing them.
Reconciliation Requires Two
While Romans 12:18 does not use the word ‘reconciliation’, I believe it does give us explicit instructions about the need for reconciliation. Paul tells us that “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” I should strive for reconciliation. But it may not always be possible.
Jesus, in Matthew 5:23-24, also gives instruction concerning the need for reconciliation. He says to us that “if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” Broken relationships with people can impact my relationship with God, hindering my prayer.
What is my responsibility when I have a damaged relationship with another person? I need to forgive them for whatever offense is between us. And I should seek reconciliation. But reconciliation may not be possible. I have no control over how the other person might respond. But, for my part, I should make the attempt. And even if it does not work out, I should continue to do my best to live at peace with them.
Forgiveness and Reconciliation from God
More important than human reconciliation is the reconciliation between God and humanity. While the former impacts my life here on earth, the latter impacts my eternity. Receiving forgiveness from God and being reconciled to him are of utmost importance.
Why do we need forgiveness and reconciliation in the first place? You do not have to read very far into the Bible to find the answer to that question. The third chapter of Genesis records Adam and Eve disobeying God and becoming estranged from him. And that is the story of all of humanity. All of us have sinned and fallen short of God’s glory (Rom. 3:23).
We all stand in need of God’s forgiveness. Our relationship with God is broken. We need to be reconciled with him. And the good news is that God has provided us with what we most need; forgiveness and reconciliation.
God’s Forgiveness of the Sinner
In the Scripture, receiving forgiveness is more than the offending party saying “I’m sorry” to the one offended. Restitution is required. Exodus 22:1-15 and Numbers 5:5-7 contain examples of the restitution that is required for a variety of offenses.
But if the offense is against God, the shedding of blood is required (Heb. 9:22). This generally took the form of an animal offered to God as a sacrifice. The animal paid the penalty for the offense, allowing the offending party to receive forgiveness.
But in the end, the blood of bulls and goats was not able to adequately deal with my sin (Heb. 10:4). A greater sacrifice was required. And that more perfect sacrifice was Jesus (Heb. 10:10), who was the atoning sacrifice for the sins of the world (1 John 2:2).
Because of the sacrifice of Jesus on our behalf, the offended party, God, has forgiven the offending party, humanity.
Being Reconciled to God
Forgiveness does not mean that we are reconciled to God, though. Restoring a relationship requires something from both sides of the broken relationship. It requires a desire for restoration. And then acting on that desire.
For God’s part, he has forgiven me for my rebellion against him. But he goes beyond that. He actively woos the sinner back to himself. His Spirit and grace work within the life of the sinner to convict (John 17:7-11) and to enable the desire for restoration (John 6:44, 65).
What is required on the human side of the equation? What is it that God expects of me in the reconciliation process? In reconciling human relationships I generally have to meet the other person halfway. Would that not also be true in reconciling with God? That I meet him halfway; doing my part?
On the contrary. The Bible teaches that all I bring to the table is faith. God has done everything needed for reconciliation. All that he requires from me is that I accept it.
Reconciliation and Salvation
So is reconciliation the same thing as salvation? I believe that reconciliation is at least the entry point into the journey of salvation. In the Scripture, we find salvation spoken of in past, present, and future tenses. We have been saved (Acts 16:30-31), we are being saved (Phil. 2:12), and we will be saved (Rom. 13:11). Salvation really starts for us with reconciliation. When we are reconciled with God, we begin the journey of salvation.
In Ephesians 2:8, when Paul said, “it is by grace you have been saved, through faith”, I believe he was referring to reconciliation with God. Reconciliation is an act of God’s grace, a gift freely given to us. A gift accepted by faith apart from any works on my part.
The Corporate Nature of Reconciliation
2 Corinthians 5:19 tells us that “God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ.” In Christ is a common phrase for Paul. As believers, we are in Christ. And, being in Christ, his experience becomes our experience. With Christ, we experience his crucifixion, burial, and resurrection (Rom. 6:1-10). And now we sit with Christ at the right hand of the Father (Col. 3:1-4).
It is as we come into Christ that we experience reconciliation with God. Christ has created in himself a new humanity. The old humanity, represented by the fallen Adam, is broken. And it is that new humanity, in Christ, that experiences reconciliation with God (Eph. 2:14-16).
The views expressed here are solely mine and do not necessarily reflect those of any other person, group, or organization. While I believe they reflect the teachings of the Bible, I am a fallible human and subject to misunderstanding. Please feel free to leave any comments or questions about this post in the comments section below. I am always interested in your feedback.
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This article first appeared on Christianity.com, July 9, 2019.
6 thoughts on “Reconciliation and Forgiveness in the Bible”
What would you suggest in regards to reconciling with a spouse who is a sex addict where his betrayal, lies and reconciliation has occurred multiple times over a 25 year period? At what point is one free to stop “reconciling?”
I am not really qualified to give marriage advice. So take what I say with a grain of salt. I would never advise someone to stay in an abusive and dangerous relationship. But that seems not to be what you are asking about. Jesus gave infidelity as legitimate grounds for terminating a marriage (Matt. 5:31-32). So it would seem to me like reconciling the marriage itself is optional for the aggrieved party. Even after the first offense. Of course, there are many other considerations that need to be made before that action is taken.
I appreciate your insight so much! 🙂 Sometimes I find it easier with God to be reconciled than to a another human being.
I agree. I find that letting go of the hurt and seeking restoration is very hard.
I am really blessed and instructed through this article.
I am in Tanzania, and I teach the word of god!
Thanks for your encouraging words. And I am thankful that you found value in this post. Reconciliation and forgiveness are all too often overlooked. At least in my part of the world.